related_results_labels({"version":"1.0","encoding":"UTF-8","feed":{"xmlns":"http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom","xmlns$openSearch":"http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/","xmlns$georss":"http://www.georss.org/georss","id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-12-19T12:36:32.966-08:00"},"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Simply Ridiculous"},"subtitle":{"type":"html","$t":"\"Life is a comedy for those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel!!\""},"link":[{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/-/Leisure?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026max-results\u003d8"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/search/label/Leisure"},{"rel":"hub","href":"http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/"},{"rel":"next","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/-/Leisure/-/Leisure?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026start-index\u003d9\u0026max-results\u003d8"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"}}],"generator":{"version":"7.00","uri":"http://www.blogger.com","$t":"Blogger"},"openSearch$totalResults":{"$t":"9"},"openSearch$startIndex":{"$t":"1"},"openSearch$itemsPerPage":{"$t":"8"},"entry":[{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-8376406516404862685"},"published":{"$t":"2009-02-15T20:43:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-02-15T20:43:38.839-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"General"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Internet"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"You’ve Got Spam!!"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“The seven deadly sins of the modern world – greed, wrath, gluttony, pornography, envy, indifference and \u003cstrong\u003espam\u003c/strong\u003e.” – Me.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSin or no sin. I just love spam emails!! \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eYes that's right, I love getting emails telling me that there is a Nigerian man ditched on the international space station with no way back and his family is trying to raise funds to send a space-ship to fetch him.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI love the emails that tell me I have won a million dollars in a lottery. I used to keep count of the total amount of money I had won. But soon I lost count and I think by now I should have won a gazillion bazillion dollars. Wow! I might just be the richest guy on the earth!!\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eMy morning coffee tastes bland without seeing a letter from someone I've never heard of proclaiming my dead relative in Saudi Arabia has died and left me his fortune which he got from being a pacifier tycoon. \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZjusl74SEI/AAAAAAAAEds/U2N3mzOx208/s1600-h/mban763l5.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"mban763l\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"mban763l\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZjuwPVT9FI/AAAAAAAAEdw/ZrodUVCchwU/mban763l_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"342\" height\u003d\"286\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSome of my favorite spam are….\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(1) \u0026quot;Add extra inches to your war cannon.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026quot;Rock her world with your elongated bayonet.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp\u003e\u0026quot;Shoot further with your flamethrower of love.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp\u003e\u0026quot;Make her pull the pin on your new sex grenade.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp\u003e\u0026quot;You'll feel like the king of the old west when you're packing a bigger pistol.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp\u003e\u0026quot;Mob bosses will have nothing on your huge machine gun.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp\u003e\u0026quot;Ram your massive submarine into her battleship.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp\u003e\u0026quot;She'll get more than bubblegum from your huge bazooka.\u0026quot;\u003c/p\u003e      \u003cp\u003e– These are the popular one-liners from those p*nis enlargement guys. How the hell did they know my size?\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(2) E-Bay tips for Dummies – Mind your tongue. Who are you calling dummies?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(3) Viagra for peanuts – Why the hell do I need Viagra?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZju0KVC4BI/AAAAAAAAEd0/yrv9mPK89wY/s1600-h/marn45l7.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"marn45l\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"marn45l\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZju3_0Cb_I/AAAAAAAAEd4/c6tqpwxuR9U/marn45l_thumb5.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"359\" height\u003d\"318\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(4) Get Your Free I-Pod – Why didn’t you tell me that you were giving away I-Pods for free? I wouldn’t have thrown away a 100 dollars on buying one.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(5) Get Paid While You Sleep - Who said if you snooze, you lose.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(6) Refinance Before it’s Too Late - Too late for what? I haven’t even taken a loan yet!! \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(7) Hot Chicks in Your Area - Does that mean the KFC around the corner?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(8) We have Found Your Missing Money – Have you been looking under my sofa cushions again ?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(9) Drug Rehab Center – How did these guys know that I was taking too many Tylenols?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(10) Stop Paying Taxes! - And start going to prison, right?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(11) Great Careers Opportunity - Did I mention I’m still studying?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(12) Acai Berry to loose inches from your waistline - Sorry guys. I have to put on a lot of weight before I can think of loosing some!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(13) Get Your Degree Online - Wow! I can be a doctor online? Why the hell did I spend 6 years in Med school?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(14) A Woman Wants You - This must be from my fiancé needing money again!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(15) Puerto Rico Land is Yours - Funny, I don’t remember ordering any.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(16) Microsoft Lottery Winner - The first thing I will do with this money is to dump my vista laptop and buy a Macbook.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(17) Black Singles Network - Um, again, I am neither black nor single.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(18) For Christian Singles! - Um, I am neither.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(19) Some guy wanting me put 100000000000 dollars in my account – Man! I can’t even put a name to that figure even though I was good at math!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(20) Some other woman telling me that I could help her by pretty much laundering money.. No Thanks!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(21) Get Hoodia Gordonii and loose weight overnight – Sounds more like an African monster!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(21) Something in Chinese...\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(22)Forward this email to atleast 12 guys - The integrity of the systems that forward email around the world depend upon everyone diligently forwarding every interesting email to at least their twelve closest friends. Note failure to send such mails can also result in bad luck, deteriorating health and the deaths of small children. Like this one guy, he didn't forward one, and he woke up at the bottom of a well where he was killed. True story!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(23) I have a business proposal – These business proposals are like a Back-to-the-Future meets Matrix meets Star Trek type of thing.\u0026#160; Totally weird!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026#160;\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZju6fZf0nI/AAAAAAAAEd8/Z7Ay6n_opes/s1600-h/20060914Viagraspamemails5507.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"2006-09-14 Viagra spam emails 550\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"2006-09-14 Viagra spam emails 550\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZju-I1DmLI/AAAAAAAAEeA/PnibE9Fl8zo/20060914Viagraspamemails550_thumb5.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"371\" height\u003d\"307\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd once again, this is what the omniscient Uncyclopedia has to say about spam emails…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“The term SPAM took new life with the invention of the WWW (West Wisconsin Waste) in 1873. An acronym for \u003cb\u003eS\u003c/b\u003eolicited \u003cb\u003eP\u003c/b\u003eiece'o \u003cb\u003eA\u003c/b\u003ectual \u003cb\u003eM\u003c/b\u003eail, SPAM allowed millions to realize the full value of the Internets. Millions of penii were lengthened. Nigeria became the richest country on Earth, as even low-level government functionaries became able to access forbidden bank accounts. Every single person in South Carolina obtained a \u003ci\u003eMaster of Mental Health Counseling\u003c/i\u003e degree from the University of Mississippi. And hot, hot bestiality replaced croquet as America's National Pastime. SPAMmers became the heroes of the 1940's Gilded Age, and their exploits were sung about by bards and lumberjacks. Notable SPAMmers and SPAMrunners (spam couriers) include Beowulf and Roland. Much has been written about Beowulf's exploits on the Internet, such as the time when he fought his way through a horde of Francium bubbles in order to deliver a package of Grade-A SPAM to a poverty-stricken Nigerian colony. Beowulf later met the noble Interknight Roland and together they braved an AOLian citadel, where they slew the Vorpal beast and freed captured SPAM POWs from reprogramming. Leading historians note that Beowulf was in fact German and therefore may not even exist. What about grendel ? He is the \u003cb\u003eS\u003c/b\u003eiberian \u003cb\u003eP\u003c/b\u003eerrogative \u003cb\u003eA\u003c/b\u003estrodynamic \u003cb\u003eM\u003c/b\u003eonstrosity.”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSometimes, it’s fun to just send a stupid reply to these spammers. \u003cem\u003eSnapsam\u003c/em\u003e,\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003e \u003c/em\u003e\u003c/strong\u003eover at the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://stuft.com.au/\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eStuft\u003c/em\u003e blog\u003c/a\u003e, has composed her own \u003cem\u003eplease help \u003c/em\u003eemail which could be sent in retaliation to those fake missing children emails and similar spam which often litter our inboxes. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“I really need your help….\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI lost the keys to my house. They've been missing now for two weeks. Maybe if we pass this email on to everyone we can work together to find them. Even if it goes overseas, who knows they may have been \u0026quot;keynapped\u0026quot; and taken as far away as Canada, India or Mesotaplioma.\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWith God on our side, they will be found. I'm begging you please forward this to everyone in your address book if you do, your good deed will be payed back to you ten fold.\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI don't know how it works it just does. Trust me. Forward this email to all your friends and family and I guarantee they will return the favor by forwarding you all their crap email for the rest of your natural life.\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIf you forward to \u0026gt;5 people, you will feel like you have lots of friends as they start forwarding you all their spam emails.\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eForward to \u0026gt;10 people and your love life will be enhanced by offers of p*nis enlargement therapy.\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eForward to \u0026gt;20 people and I will personally come over to your house drink all your liquor and tear your computer out of the wall so you can never forward this crap to anyone ever again.”\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI just don’t understand how some people are still falling for the scams that these spam mails entail; come on people if someone is called Roger Digeridoo from flippin Nigeria and his Grandad made millions and it’s locked in a bank in the Ivory Coast do you think it’s true!!! But then.. How would I get to enjoy such morning masala if not for these stupid guys!! Keep it coming spammers!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eJust subscribe to the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://feedproxy.google.com/SimplyRidiculous\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eSimply Ridiculous RSS Feed\u003c/a\u003e to enjoy some ridiculous spam from your friendly neighborhood doc!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________ \u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-8376406516404862685?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/8376406516404862685/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/youve-got-spam.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/8376406516404862685"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/8376406516404862685"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/youve-got-spam.html","title":"You’ve Got Spam!!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-519229462012241422"},"published":{"$t":"2009-02-09T22:55:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-02-09T22:55:06.882-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"General"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"5 Things I Hate About USA – Part 5. American Football"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI don’t like a lot of sports like golf and baseball. But, American Football leads the list. I never seem to understand America’s obsession with American Football. \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhat’s so entertaining about a bunch of doughy, sweaty men in shoulder pads and pedal pushers lining up in front of each other time and again just to slam into each other and land in a pile while some scrawny guy tries to throw the ball to some other scrawny guy before the fat guys jump on him. It's just simply ridiculous!!\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd why the hell is it called ‘Football’? Neither is it played with the foot nor does the ridiculously shaped ‘ball’ look like a ball in any imaginable way. Why don’t they call it the ‘Hand Egg’?\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZEkjdIDLKI/AAAAAAAAEcw/KQSasG16P6o/s1600-h/Handegg6.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Handegg\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Handegg\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZEkmZuG1CI/AAAAAAAAEc0/mZzSuIDvRR0/Handegg_thumb4.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"442\" height\u003d\"336\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI believe that American Football is popular since it helps to keep the crime rate low in America. After all, it is a perfect way for these guys to get rid of their aggression without having to go to jail for it. Everyone is given a free pass to hit the shit out of each other till someone falls unconscious on the grass!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZEkpHjBp2I/AAAAAAAAEc8/FXmTGIQq3Mc/s1600-h/football%5B6%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"football\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"football\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZEksXAzowI/AAAAAAAAEdA/DtIGMugRpq8/football_thumb%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"364\" height\u003d\"298\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026#160;\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZEku-Qf9-I/AAAAAAAAEdE/PmW13eAHbZM/s1600-h/football_headless%5B6%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"football_headless\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"football_headless\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SZEkx7PXUgI/AAAAAAAAEdI/0XxFy18k8AE/football_headless_thumb%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"357\" height\u003d\"308\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAmerican Football is just an hour long sport which actually lasts for four hours – arguably the slowest game on earth! There are ads with each change of possession, most time-outs and challenges, between quarters, the 2-minute warning, after every score, half time, another set of challenges and time-outs, another 2-minute warning, booth reviews, injuries - it's just ridiculous. Jut try turning the TV on at random in the middle of a game. If there aren’t ads showing and anything is actually happening, it’s a miracle. And if anyone says cricket is slower, I’ll let Geoffrey Boycott loose on them!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd what’s so super about ‘Super Bowl’? Does it have wings or something? Did it win the ‘super’ title from \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/failed-superheroes.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eSuperman\u003c/a\u003e in a poker game? Anyways, the Uncyclopedia defines it as, “The Super Bowl is a collection of high-priced, high-production-value television commercials directed at 18-45 year old males with arrested development, presented annually a few weeks after the holidays.”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAmerican Football is a lot similar to Rugby with a name that’s been stolen from Football. So, what’s the actual difference between American Football, Rugby and the real Football (that thing which Americans recognize by the name ‘Soccer’). Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen. Soccer is a gentleman’s game played by beasts. American Football is a beastly game played by beasts!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhat’s the big deal in a sport that is probably played by only two countries, USA and Canada?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eOk.. Here’s what some smart asses like me have to say about this…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003eAss slapping, tight pants, excessive protection, and a ridiculously shaped ball. Sounds like a bunch of schizophrenic ten-year-olds developed this game.\u003c/q\u003e       \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eOscar Wilde\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003eIf a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.\u003c/q\u003e\u0026#160; \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eErma Bombeck\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eM\u003cq\u003eost football teams are temperamental.That's 90% temper and 10% mental.\u003c/q\u003e       \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eDoug Plank\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003eYou have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.\u003c/q\u003e       \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eDan Birdwell\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003ePro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.\u003c/q\u003e       \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eFrank Gifford\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003eAmerican football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.\u003c/q\u003e       \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eSue Lawley\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003eThe reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public.\u003c/q\u003e       \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003ePhyllis Diller\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003eCollege football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.\u003c/q\u003e       \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eElbert Hubbard\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cq\u003eIt's football you retards! Stop changing it's name to make your American sport look good. \u003c/q\u003e      \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160; - \u003cstrong\u003eObviously not me!\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/em\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eP.S. This post is just meant to be satirical. So, if you can’t get the satire and decide to send me hate mail, then you should certainly get your brain examined by a \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/neurology-is-it-overrated.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eNeurologist\u003c/a\u003e for the pathological condition characterized by the loss of sense of satire.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIf you do appreciate simply ridiculous satire, then go on and subscribe to the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://feedproxy.google.com/SimplyRidiculous\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eSimply Ridiculous RSS Feed\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-519229462012241422?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/519229462012241422/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-5.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/519229462012241422"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/519229462012241422"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-5.html","title":"5 Things I Hate About USA – Part 5. American Football"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-2008156582535184447"},"published":{"$t":"2009-02-05T07:55:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-02-21T23:43:21.238-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"General"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"5 Things I Hate About US – Part 4. Shopping Malls"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI suspect I am genetically predisposed to scorn shopping unless it is something related to computers or cars. But, surely, I am not the only genetic freak. Nature has created an entire breed of humans like me who just hate those swanky, humongous monstrosities called shopping malls.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThis is what the reliable Uncyclopedia says about the origin of this curse on mankind called shopping malls..\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“The Zarathustra Bible of 8000 BC reveals the origin of shopping mall. It was under the third full moon that Baal decided to punish humanity. His curse was called…. The Shopping Mall!! Baal himself said, “Those who like to walk slow shall be in the way of those who like to walk fast. Women shall bring their screaming children and ignore them completely. From the Zarathustra Bible, page 86.”\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI hate everything about shopping malls. Bored parents with hoards of children screaming to ride the toy horse. Massive herds of 13 year olds just looking for a hang out place away from home. And not to mention the saleswomen sprinting after the ladies with stinky perfume samples, the smell of stale chicken and hamburgers from the fast food restaurants, the plump mall cops swishing around on Segways and weirdoes throwing used credit cards and store coupons in the wishing fountains.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYsL0IIOb4I/AAAAAAAAEcc/Q_g9CnZyGL8/s1600-h/lostinmall5.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"lostinmall\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"lostinmall\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYsL2ggjZUI/AAAAAAAAEcg/0EccqSmUV20/lostinmall_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"304\" height\u003d\"337\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThen there is Old Navy. The clothes here are so over-sized that I often wonder that “Do they make clothes for a human or a bunch of humans!!'” I once came accross a pant that could fit three of me or a baby elephant!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd forgive me if I just hate buying over-priced ‘Made in India’ clothes from American malls. I can easily get better quality clothes for a much cheaper price in India! \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnother nuisance are those damn crappy stalls in the middle of the malls trying to sell you crap like chinese massages, weird gizmos and beauty products claiming to be made from natural ingredients like stuff from the oceans or rainforests!! Do these people think I am insane? If I ever want these beauty stuff, I will go to the beach and get all the ingredients for free!! \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI know that America is the fattest nation in the world and so there are going to be fat people everywhere. But, I just hate having to make some massive detour because some big fat guy decided to take a break in the middle of the walkway.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe malls are also the perfect breeding spot for an extremely dangerous species called the ‘Survey Takers’. These beasts relentlessly pursue you until you give in and agree to be tortured by their questions like what brand of underwear you use, what perfume you put on and so on.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYsL5XVoBzI/AAAAAAAAEck/C2YQmchCwZA/s1600-h/parking5.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"parking\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"parking\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYsL7nhdMbI/AAAAAAAAEco/pZ41Ti_AVe0/parking_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"300\" height\u003d\"322\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd, of course, the one thing that almost everyone hates. The Parking Garage!! These are labyrinths where people wander around aimlessly trying to remember where they parked. It is rumored some people were there so long they hooked up, started families, brought about a new subculture of youth that have never been touched by natural light or breathed non-ventilated air!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eFinally, I can say that absolutely nothing can make me want to go to the malls. Except, ofcourse, one thing…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThat is if Robin Sparkles personally sings me the song “Let’s go to the mall”… Only if..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e     \u003cdiv style\u003d\"padding-bottom: 0px; margin: 0px auto; padding-left: 0px; width: 453px; padding-right: 0px; display: block; float: none; padding-top: 0px\" id\u003d\"scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:9464ff0e-1406-4223-92b0-cf917d21c7d9\" class\u003d\"wlWriterEditableSmartContent\"\u003e\u003cdiv id\u003d\"49ad9248-55b2-4712-b413-32c744468dbe\" style\u003d\"margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline;\"\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v\u003dgdD0j6wmMNc\u0026amp;hl\u003den\u0026amp;fs\u003d1\" target\u003d\"_new\"\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYsL9yxRYAI/AAAAAAAAEcs/1PpLV5pN_IA/videodb65fc2f82ad%5B16%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" style\u003d\"border-style: none\" galleryimg\u003d\"no\" onload\u003d\"var downlevelDiv \u003d document.getElementById('49ad9248-55b2-4712-b413-32c744468dbe'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML \u003d \u0026quot;\u0026lt;div\u0026gt;\u0026lt;object width\u003d\\\u0026quot;453\\\u0026quot; height\u003d\\\u0026quot;379\\\u0026quot;\u0026gt;\u0026lt;param name\u003d\\\u0026quot;movie\\\u0026quot; value\u003d\\\u0026quot;http://www.youtube.com/v/gdD0j6wmMNc\u0026amp;hl\u003den\u0026amp;fs\u003d1\u0026amp;hl\u003den\\\u0026quot;\u0026gt;\u0026lt;\\/param\u0026gt;\u0026lt;embed src\u003d\\\u0026quot;http://www.youtube.com/v/gdD0j6wmMNc\u0026amp;hl\u003den\u0026amp;fs\u003d1\u0026amp;hl\u003den\\\u0026quot; type\u003d\\\u0026quot;application/x-shockwave-flash\\\u0026quot; width\u003d\\\u0026quot;453\\\u0026quot; height\u003d\\\u0026quot;379\\\u0026quot;\u0026gt;\u0026lt;\\/embed\u0026gt;\u0026lt;\\/object\u0026gt;\u0026lt;\\/div\u0026gt;\u0026quot;;\" alt\u003d\"\"\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e   \u003c/div\u003e    \u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026#160;\u003c/div\u003e    \u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/div\u003e    \u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSubscribe to the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://feedproxy.google.com/SimplyRidiculous\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eSimply Ridiculous RSS Feed\u003c/a\u003e here….\u003c/div\u003e    \u003cdiv align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/div\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-2008156582535184447?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/2008156582535184447/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/5-things-i-hate-about-us-part-4.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/2008156582535184447"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/2008156582535184447"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/5-things-i-hate-about-us-part-4.html","title":"5 Things I Hate About US – Part 4. Shopping Malls"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"4"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-7792220778842392400"},"published":{"$t":"2009-01-31T21:44:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-01-31T21:53:30.656-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"General"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"5 Things I Hate About USA – Part 3. Airport Security"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI have this stupid habit of asking “Do I look like a terrorist?” whenever a security officer goes through my luggage. Most of them just smile it off. But the security officers at the Orlando International Airport seemed to take it a tad too seriously. As a result, I was frisked and questioned for almost half an hour.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eMaybe I was asking for this. But then, I don’t look like a terrorist in any way. \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI have been to almost 8 airports in the United States and I have come to one conclusion. The airport security officials in USA are just too wary of foreigners.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYU2Zov5dSI/AAAAAAAAEcE/rrqag-i5-7E/s1600-h/Airportsecurity6.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Airport security\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Airport security\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYU2cM21oBI/AAAAAAAAEcI/CfAQf8gg634/Airportsecurity_thumb4.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"346\" height\u003d\"276\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eToday, airport security is one of the many forms of state sponsored torture, which includes the likes of CIA and FBI. The only difference being that airport security is meant to torture/molest regular (non-terrorist) foreigners, so as to discourage them from coming to the United States and stealing jobs from American citizens. \u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThis is what Uncyclopedia has to say about the origin of airport security…. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“Airport security was originally a form of torture utilized by certain Aztec religious sects in the early 19th century to prevent diplomats and explorers from leaving the country without first being eaten. The ritual basically consists of three parts: first, the tribesman would offer a small animal as a sacrifice to their \u0026quot;terrible supernatural avenger\u0026quot; by feeding it through a tunnel that emitted harmful rays. The victim would then stand spread eagle while a shaman poked around his genital area with a small stick; and the ceremony would reach its bloody climax when a large tribesmen, having found toenail clippers among the travelers belongings, would beat him to death with a club. Later on in the year 1977 when a young American managed to befriend and destroy all the Aztecs, he brought the tradition to the U.S. under the name \u0026quot;security\u0026quot; which is a verbal corruption of ‘stick beating’.”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“They took my doughnut and my coffee!” shouted an Arab guy, after having been frisked by the security officials. Sure they had to confiscate it. What if the guy assembled a bomb on the plane from a doughnut and a coffee!! These days you never know what things they can build a bomb from!! \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYU2efzN5JI/AAAAAAAAEcM/57v5MltvzT0/s1600-h/security6.gif\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"security\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"security\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYU2hu8RXFI/AAAAAAAAEcQ/6X3yPIp_New/security_thumb4.gif?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"291\" height\u003d\"351\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWith such stringent standards, they catch every dangerous object, right? Hell no!! I once got through a security checkpoint with a Swiss knife after getting my apparently far more dangerous half-empty toothpaste confiscated!! Ofcourse, I never knew that I had the Swiss knife in my carry-on until it was confiscated at the next airport.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThese guys are just concentrating so much on confiscating extremely dangerous items like water bottles, hair sprays, body lotions and pickles, that they even allowed a bloke to carry ‘Snakes On The Plane’!! Everyone knows what happened after that!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThere is an anecdotal incident in which a Pakistani guy was subjected to tests for suspected explosives in his hair!! Apparently the poor guy had just applied generous amount of hair oil, which the airport security believed to be nitroglyceride or maybe, plutonium!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYU2j2NmKfI/AAAAAAAAEcU/RrVDI0wLzHw/s1600-h/6a00d83451b07469e200e54f48c578883364.gif\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"6a00d83451b07469e200e54f48c5788833-640wi\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"6a00d83451b07469e200e54f48c5788833-640wi\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYU2npo-0-I/AAAAAAAAEcY/nE9hu2zEilQ/6a00d83451b07469e200e54f48c578883364%5B1%5D.gif?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"324\" height\u003d\"361\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eJust recently, the U.S. government raised the national security level to orange, which means that there is high risk of terrorists attacking you with oranges. You might think that I am just joking. Absolutely not!! Try squeezing an orange peel into your eye, and you will know why it’s such a big threat!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIn sharp contrast, Indian airport security personal are little angels!! You can sneak in a a nuclear warhead without even being noticed!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut, I guess you can’t expect Indian politeness, patience and courage everywhere. Where else would you find people living under a constant threat of terrorist bombings and yet not giving a shit about it?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd finally, here are some fictional quotes from some well-known people on the subject of airport security…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“They are FUCKS”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eOscar Wilde\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“Secretly, I bugged the windows I gave them for their metal detector. They never knew. What a bunch of fucks”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eBill Gates\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e      \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e_______________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e      \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSubscribe to \u003ca href\u003d\"http://feedproxy.google.com/SimplyRidiculous\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eRSS feeds here\u003c/a\u003e..\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/p\u003e      \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e_______________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-7792220778842392400?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/7792220778842392400/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-5.html#comment-form","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/7792220778842392400"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/7792220778842392400"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-5.html","title":"5 Things I Hate About USA – Part 3. Airport Security"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-3614446032012586328"},"published":{"$t":"2009-01-27T22:56:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-01-27T22:58:55.254-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"General"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"5 Things I Hate About USA – Part 2. DBCAs (not ABCDs!!)"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eYeah.. You heard me right. The next on my hate list are the hypocrites, often known as DBCAs, Desi Born Confused Americans. Maybe it’s more of a feeling of pity than hate.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eFirst, let me get all these terms clear. The official NRI dictionary defines FOBs (Fresh of the Blocks) as guys who have immigrated to the United States less than 2 years ago, while all those who have been in the US for a period longer than 2 years are classified as DBCAs.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eNo hard feelings guys. But, holy crap on a cracker!! You guys are even more pathetic then ABCDs. In fact, ABCDs are just poor guys stretched thin between conflicting cultures, quite unwillingly.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYABqCxiI3I/AAAAAAAAEb8/I7xALv4GO7E/s1600-h/DBCA5.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"DBCA\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"DBCA\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SYABse2F_2I/AAAAAAAAEcA/-52RRHX-Hyk/DBCA_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"295\" height\u003d\"156\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“We are not at all confused!” this is what most of the DBCAs would scream. Oh really? You would say it’s all about adjusting and searching for their identity in the new country. Well then, you absolutely suck at this!!\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThese DBCAs, hit by the cultural and linguistic asteroid, fare much worse than the dinosaurs which were hit by an asteroid during the Cretaceous period. The dinosaurs just disappeared. But these guys, in response to this catastrophic change, evolve into something which would puzzle Darwin himself. Some of the distinguishing features of DBCAs are mentioned below….\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Interestingly, all of them adopt a pseudo-American accent which sounds just simply… pseudo!!\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Almost all of them either sport a goatee or a spiky hairstyle. (I know that getting a hair-cut is costly in the US. But come on guys!! Enjoy your hair while you still have it!!)\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Just can’t come to terms with the American system of measurements, and often are at their wits’ end. (Include me in this too!!)\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- They try hard to follow basketball or baseball or American football, obviously without even a hint of interest, again just to blend into the social groups.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- They wear colorful t-shirts with ‘in your face’ portraits of pop stars or sports teams they hardly ever know.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- They usually try to watch a lot of ridiculous Hollywood movies, just so that they are not left behind in conversations with their colleagues. \u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Even though they force themselves to watch TV shows like ‘Two And A Half Men’, ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and ‘The Big Bang Theory’, they rarely can ever grasp the sarcastic humor.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Can’t usually make sense of conversational humor. For example, two American guys and an Indian guy are talking. The first guy says, “It’s really difficult to enjoy in this town”. The second American replies, “I can enjoy in any place that has the Flying Saucers!!'” At this the Indian jumps in, “Do you have lots of UFOs in this town??” (Flying Saucers is a well known chain of bars. And this is a true story!!)\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- They usually wonder if they smell like Indian food, while going out.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Almost all of them whine about the cold weather in the United States, although they rarely, if ever, actually step out of their over-heated houses and cars.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Their idea of a marriage is a week long event (ridiculously long) with mehndi ceremonies, garbas, long marriage ceremonies and fancy receptions where everyone looks like a wannabe actor from Ekta Kapoor’s soap operas!!\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- When groups of these DBCAs come together they form a ‘ghetto’, which is a small group of these guys who hang out on a daily or weekly basis. Inside of these ghettos, these guys will engage in harmless activities, such as playing absurd games, gossiping, making ridiculous jokes, and drinking coca cola, which they will pretend is some heavy alcoholic beverage.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Take undue advantage of the 30 day return policy in most stores, by returning most of the things they bought within the 30 days. (Creative and smart!! But, equally disgusting!! But, I would do it nevertheless!!)\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- They hate ABCDs and Americans for no apparent reason whatsoever.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Always drive Honda or Toyota cars. (An independent study revealed that a Honda car in the garage implies that the home-owner is a DBCA 90% of the times. So, a Honda is good sensitive test for recognizing a DBCA.)\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- In spite of all these die-hard attempts to blend into the American society, they are considered weirdoes.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe ABCDs were never a problem. It is the DBCA parents who are unable to clearly communicate their expectations and educate their children in the formative years about religion and traditions because they are not sure what would work best.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWant to know more about a DBCA?? Have a look at Rajesh Kuthrapalli in the TV show ‘The Big Bang Theory’!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eFinally the question arises. Will I become a DBCA if I move to the US? Absolutely not!! Or as Sheldon would say, “Not a snowball's chance in a cat scanner!!”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhy?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBecause I already am an IBCD? ‘Indian Born Confused Desi’… Can’t get more confused than this!!\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160; \u003cimg alt\u003d\"\" src\u003d\"http://www.zu14.cn/coolemotion/emotions/hi_3.gif\" /\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eConfused? You need not be!! Just subscribe to the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://feedproxy.google.com/SimplyRidiculous\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eSimply Ridiculous RSS feed\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-3614446032012586328?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/3614446032012586328/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-2-dbcas.html#comment-form","title":"5 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3614446032012586328"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3614446032012586328"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-2-dbcas.html","title":"5 Things I Hate About USA – Part 2. DBCAs (not ABCDs!!)"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"5"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-3867985175816419683"},"published":{"$t":"2009-01-23T03:50:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-01-23T03:50:45.700-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"General"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"5 Things I Hate About USA- Part 1. Toilet Paper"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eYup. Toilet paper tops the list of all the things that I hate about the United States. How can these self-confessed cleanliness freaks compromise on uhhh… you know what, rear hygiene? \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eStatistically speaking, Americans use 36.5 billion toilet paper rolls or 5 billion dollars or 20 million trees cut down, just for that not-so-clean backside. That’s just simply ridiculous!!\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXmu4r4SdgI/AAAAAAAAEaw/g4lLlBuPbbY/s1600-h/3-7-08-toilet-paper%5B5%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"3-7-08-toilet-paper\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"3-7-08-toilet-paper\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXmu68CiwfI/AAAAAAAAEa0/24RojHnGqm4/3-7-08-toilet-paper_thumb%5B3%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"293\" height\u003d\"296\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSome over-smart Indian said to me once, “We don’t use toilet paper because paper for us is a symbol of knowledge or Goddess Saraswati.” Innovative!! Ain’t it. Well, Indians don’t use toilet paper just for the simple reason that water is easy to use and hygienic and, most of all, totally free!!\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHere are some American views on the use of water and Indian style toilets…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“You can't crap on it unless you squat down and then shit on it. But make sure you don't crap on the ground! And the worst part is that you have to splash and wash with your own hands.”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“I have neither the balance nor flexibility to squat naked over a hole attempting to ladle a cup of water down my crack.”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSo, this is what I am proposing to the Americans. Stop using toilet paper completely and adopt the water based manual or jet systems!! Well, then some of you smart asses might ask what I propose to do with all the remaining toilet paper. I have some solutions for that too…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Feed it to the cows, since it is rich in cellulose. They would just love the chewy stuff.\u003c/p\u003e      \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXmu9D2STsI/AAAAAAAAEa4/QDNu049M1iQ/s1600-h/toiletpaperfibre%5B3%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"toiletpaperfibre\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"toiletpaperfibre\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXmu_nyPfZI/AAAAAAAAEa8/Woq3C0_bBQU/toiletpaperfibre_thumb%5B1%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"244\" height\u003d\"205\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Feed it to the Americans. It’s rich in cellulose (insoluble fiber)!! This would be a perfect solution to the constipation problem!!\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Use it to print the junk postal mail on. Atleast, this mail would be easier to flush down the toilet instead of clogging the garbage bins!!\u003c/p\u003e      \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXmvCIROEHI/AAAAAAAAEbA/OVkB7MaJJNQ/s1600-h/toiletpapernotes%5B4%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"toiletpapernotes\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"toiletpapernotes\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXmvEgVb4sI/AAAAAAAAEbE/bnfaLkGFzrU/toiletpapernotes_thumb%5B2%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"244\" height\u003d\"260\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e      \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e- Use it to take down notes while on that thinking seat (toilet!!). How many great ideas were born while taking that morning crap!! \u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd this is what the oh-so-famous people have to say on this oh-not-so-comfortable subject….. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eI eat toilet paper for breakfast\u003c/em\u003e” \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eOscar Wilde\u003c/strong\u003e on toilet paper\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eYou eat toilet paper?\u003c/em\u003e” \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eTony Blair\u003c/strong\u003e on Oscar Wilde's quote\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eBut to conclude, I say and maintain that there is no arse-wiper like a well-downed goose, if you hold her neck between your legs. You must take my word for it, you really must. You get a miraculous sensation in your arse-hole, both from the softness of the down and from the temperate heat of the goose herself; and this is easily communicated to the bum-gut and the rest of the intestines, from which it reaches the heart and the brain.\u003c/em\u003e”\u0026#160; \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eFrançois Rabelais\u003c/strong\u003e, 13th Chapter of the First Book on toilet paper\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eWell don’t you?\u003c/em\u003e”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eOscar Wilde\u003c/strong\u003e on what Blair said\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eDuh! I do, but you?\u003c/em\u003e” \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eTony Blair\u003c/strong\u003e on Oscar Wilde's quote´\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eIsn’t made of Adipic Acid?\u003c/em\u003e” \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eLula\u003c/strong\u003e on toilet paper\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eI need TP for my bunghole, heh heh heh!\u003c/em\u003e” \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eBeavis\u003c/strong\u003e on Toilet Paper\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eI like my toilet paper raw, as it helps with the abrasive texture associated with grating leftover matter clinging to a body cavitous hole generally found in the anal region.\u003c/em\u003e”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eSmiley Johannsson\u003c/strong\u003e on haggard, craggy toilet paper\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“\u003cem\u003eThat's what it's for? I thought it was to write notes in while you're in the bathroom.\u003c/em\u003e”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cblockquote\u003e     \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e~ \u003cstrong\u003eGeorge W. Bush\u003c/strong\u003e on a discussion with his secretary.\u003c/p\u003e   \u003c/blockquote\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor all those toilet junkies and die-hard toilet paper fans, there is a crazy new product from Taiwan called the ‘\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://www.engadget.com/2005/12/08/rsstroom-reader-concept-prints-up-toilet-paper-news/\"\u003eRsstroom Reader\u003c/a\u003e’, which prints your RSS feeds directly onto the toilet paper. That’s right, your toilet paper!! So, now you can enjoy Simply Ridiculous directly from your the comfort of your toilet throne. So, go on and subscribe to the \u003c/strong\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://feedproxy.google.com/SimplyRidiculous\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSimply Ridiculous RSS feed\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e.\u003c/strong\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e___________________________________________________________\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eP.S. The quotes used for this post have been taken from an article on Uncyclopedia.\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-3867985175816419683?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/3867985175816419683/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-1-toilet.html#comment-form","title":"7 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3867985175816419683"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3867985175816419683"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/5-things-i-hate-about-usa-part-1-toilet.html","title":"5 Things I Hate About USA- Part 1. Toilet Paper"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"7"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-5792860290297487729"},"published":{"$t":"2009-01-19T17:30:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-01-20T12:46:19.829-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"TV Shows"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"How I Met Your Mother"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The Unofficial Chick Code"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e“A chick is basically a mutation of a man.” – Calvin from ‘Calvin \u0026amp; Hobbes’.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e“Chicks consist of atleast 30% spice which makes them hot and have a short temper. The rest is mostly sugar which makes them sweet and fun to eat” – Anonymous.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"HotChick\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"HotChick\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXUo-Tk-SiI/AAAAAAAAEak/0gWxDNv87_c/HotChick_thumb%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"298\" height\u003d\"293\" /\u003e \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e“Chicks don’t poop. Well, they poop but only flowers come out. They don’t fart either. Well when they fart, they fart perfume.” – Anonymous.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e“The latter word contradicts the former word.” – Oscar Wilde on the ‘Perfect Woman’.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eAccording to me, chicks are hard working, strong, mature, don’t bitch about ridiculous things and actually accomplish things…. Wait. What am I saying?? Screw all this. Chicks are just the opposite of all this!!\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eWell, if you guys believed that only men have a “Bro Code”, then you are living in the dark ages. The chick too have a “Chick Code” of their own. And I have mentioned a few excerpts from the Chick Code below, which in no way is the official version since, bring a Bro, I have no access to a copy of the Chick Code. It’s obvious. Ain’t it….\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e(If you guys out there are not aware of the Bro Code, then daaa!! You should bury yourself alive! Shame on you guys!! Read \u003c/font\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-1-articles-1-40.html\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003ethis\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e and \u003c/font\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-2-articles-41-80.html\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003ethis\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e and \u003c/font\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-3-articles-81.html\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003ethis\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e and \u003c/font\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/official-bro-code-part-4-articles-120.html\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003ethis\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e to enlighten yourself about the Bro Code.)\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e1) A chick shall not sleep with another chick’s ex-boyfriend unless she does.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e2) A chick never pays for anything. Ever!!\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e3) A chick shall never support another chick, whatever the reason maybe!!\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e4) If a chick asks another chick to keep a secret, then… Are you kidding!! In the entire history of humankind, chicks have never been able to keep a secret!! Ever!!\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e5) The favorite color of all chicks shall always be pink. And none other than pink.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e6) If two chicks get into a fight, they shall make catty remarks and pretend to ignore each other rather than simply stripping down and wrestling it out.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e7) If a chick hears a chick empowerment song like “I will survive”, she shall stop whatever she is doing, grab another chick’s hand and shriek the lyrics at the top of her lungs.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e8) If the TV is showing the movie “My Best Friend’s Wedding” or “DDLJ”, the chick has to leave whatever she is doing and watch the movie till the very end. No matter how many times she has seen it. Corollary: A chick will quickly find some work in the kitchen or somewhere else if her boyfriend is watching the movie “Die Hard” or “300”.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e9) A chick may get a dog as a pet but only if it fits in her mailbox.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e10) If two chicks are wearing a same outfit, each retains the right to accidently spill a drink on the other.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e11) A chick shall not operate a motor vehicle in a safe manner. Corollary: If a chick does operate a motor vehicle, she will atleast hit someone.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXUpBd0iQdI/AAAAAAAAEao/VfW1Y-E5uSs/s1600-h/chicksdrivingcars%5B7%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"chicksdrivingcars\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"chicksdrivingcars\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXUpE0pCjmI/AAAAAAAAEas/cFKjNi57Z_o/chicksdrivingcars_thumb%5B3%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"244\" height\u003d\"207\" /\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e12) A chick shall never use the side mirror for applying lipstick while driving the car. It is extremely dangerous since it messes up the hair!!\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e13) A chick has a free pass to slut it up on Halloween.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e14) A chick shall always say “Oww.. Sooo cute!!” at the sight of a baby or a kitten or a puppy or a man with a cute baby or a man with a cute puppy.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e15) A chick shall never leave the house without putting on make-up first, even if the house is on fire. Corollary: A chick shall never go to sleep without putting on make-up first. Corollary: If a chick is on a date, she shall find some excuse to use the restroom atleast three times in order to check the make-up.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e16) A chick shall always demonstrate an absolute lack of commonsense. Especially, if she is really hot!!\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e__________________________________________________________________________\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eP.S. I have noticed that you smart asses don’t check out my awesome, dashing blog too often. Well, you can always get the updates in your email by the using the Email Subscription box on the top right. Don’t worry. It’s a totally safe service from Google and they won’t spam you. You can always subscribe to the \u003c/strong\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://feedproxy.google.com/SimplyRidiculous\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRSS feeds\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e. And if you are not aware of RSS, then God have mercy on you!! Come on, guys. Keep yourself up-to-date with the technology. Learn about \u003c/strong\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"http://www.whatisrss.com/\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRSS here\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e. Use the \u003c/strong\u003e\u003ca target\u003d\"_blank\" href\u003d\"https://www.google.com/accounts/ServiceLogin?hl\u003den\u0026amp;nui\u003d1\u0026amp;service\u003dreader\u0026amp;continue\u003dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Freader%2F\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGoogle Reader\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e to subscribe to the RSS feeds. Believe me. RSS rocks!!\u003c/strong\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e__________________________________________________________________________\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-5792860290297487729?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/5792860290297487729/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/unofficial-chick-code.html#comment-form","title":"2 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/5792860290297487729"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/5792860290297487729"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/unofficial-chick-code.html","title":"The Unofficial Chick Code"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"2"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-7054473036104464101"},"published":{"$t":"2009-01-17T15:44:00.001-08:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-01-17T15:44:52.343-08:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"General"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Leisure"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Lifestyle"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"“I Can’t Think Of Anything To Write” Syndrome"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eIt’s been just a month since I started this blog out of sheer boredom. And I sort of believed that I could think of enough stupid topics to write on almost everyday. It is day 38 and I have run out of fresh ideas to blog about.\u0026#160; And I am trying so hard that I look somewhat like this…\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtXkTue6I/AAAAAAAAEZY/ObuaUgjkNlc/s1600-h/writersblock11.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"writersblock\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"writersblock\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtYJFaPgI/AAAAAAAAEZc/XdXg2tToolo/writersblock_thumb7.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"289\" height\u003d\"206\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u0026#160; \u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eActually, I did have a really good idea for an article, but now I can't remember it. It was such an idea that people would look at the title of the article, and be like, \u003ci\u003e\u0026quot;Man, that's an awesome article!\u0026quot;\u003c/i\u003e. Now if only I could remember what the fuck it was… \u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#404040\"\u003eThis is terrible. Come on my overrated grey matter, think! You have to recall what it was.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#404040\"\u003eWell, to be honest, no one ever reads my blog. There have been just 900 visitors to my blog, most of them being me trying to find out how many visitors I have had. But if I came up with something really stupid and hilarious, they would be all like, \u003ci\u003e\u0026quot;Hey we were wrong about you! You are hilarious! Your blog rocks!” \u003c/i\u003eAnd I would be all like, \u003c/font\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"#404040\"\u003e\u0026quot;That’s just me being simply ridiculous! Thank God, I finally recalled that idea!”\u003c/font\u003e\u0026#160; \u003c/i\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eThat is if I do figure out what the idea was. Perhaps I have to electrically stimulate my hippocampus, like Dr. House did to remember who was with him on the bus.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eFinally, I have to accept that I have the “I Can’t Think Of Anything To Write” syndrome or the Writer’s Block. \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eNope, this block is not some sort of a constipation that a writer gets. \u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eNor is it a Bloc of all the angry writers trying to take over the world.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtYqGNBcI/AAAAAAAAEZg/H3AXg8HaKxo/s1600-h/writers_block5.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"writers_block\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"writers_block\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtZKGMMfI/AAAAAAAAEZk/QC2h-dTiKJU/writers_block_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"334\" height\u003d\"257\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eIt sure ain’t the Bloc of writers going on a strike, due to lack of original ideas. (But this did happen with the Writer’s Guild last year.)\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtZvO4jbI/AAAAAAAAEZo/536quYN2tgQ/s1600-h/cityblock4.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"cityblock\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"cityblock\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtaADvNgI/AAAAAAAAEZs/HCaZKHdJshc/cityblock_thumb2.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"306\" height\u003d\"233\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u0026#160;\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eIt ain’t even a block in the city where all the writers live. \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtbKALrkI/AAAAAAAAEZw/8pVJlc424sk/s1600-h/sunblock4.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"sun block\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"sun block\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtb5lnh6I/AAAAAAAAEZ0/AMjTmej7HRI/sunblock_thumb2.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"297\" height\u003d\"251\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eIt’s not even the Sun Block that the writers use.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eIt’s not even a block on the USMLE exam. (This one is totally dumb!)\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eThen, what the hell is writer’s block? \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt is actually something that stupid guys like myself invented, so that we could pretend to be writers and use it as an excuse when we could not think of anything to write about.\u003c/strong\u003e \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\"\u003eYup, I have this block. And it’s pissing me off so badly that I am actually trying to write about it on this blog and trying to give it my own stupid name. Which moron other than me would have thought about the name “I Can’t Think Of Anything To Write” syndrome. That’s just simply ridiculous. I am also inserting stupid cartoons from the web so that I don’t have to write much and yet it looks like a long post. I am surely hitting rock bottom. \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtcUSZU7I/AAAAAAAAEZ4/x8DTnh3fxMU/s1600-h/writingaboutit5.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"writingaboutit\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"writingaboutit\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SXJtczq-i3I/AAAAAAAAEZ8/IzvQW_2Qcd0/writingaboutit_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"348\" height\u003d\"294\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-7054473036104464101?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/7054473036104464101/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-cant-think-of-anything-to-write.html#comment-form","title":"4 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/7054473036104464101"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/7054473036104464101"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/01/i-cant-think-of-anything-to-write.html","title":"“I Can’t Think Of Anything To Write” Syndrome"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"4"}}]}});