related_results_labels({"version":"1.0","encoding":"UTF-8","feed":{"xmlns":"http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom","xmlns$openSearch":"http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/","xmlns$georss":"http://www.georss.org/georss","id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-11-02T01:36:32.909-08:00"},"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Simply Ridiculous"},"subtitle":{"type":"html","$t":"\"Life is a comedy for those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel!!\""},"link":[{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/-/Humor?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026max-results\u003d8"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/search/label/Humor"},{"rel":"hub","href":"http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/"},{"rel":"next","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/-/Humor/-/Humor?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026start-index\u003d9\u0026max-results\u003d8"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"}}],"generator":{"version":"7.00","uri":"http://www.blogger.com","$t":"Blogger"},"openSearch$totalResults":{"$t":"36"},"openSearch$startIndex":{"$t":"1"},"openSearch$itemsPerPage":{"$t":"8"},"entry":[{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-4465548229165435760"},"published":{"$t":"2009-06-29T05:03:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-07-01T04:19:09.666-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Intelligent design"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Flying Spaghetti Monster"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Religion"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Touched By His Noodly Appendage!!"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThis morning I looked up, and behold, the heavens aboveth me parted, and he who is noodly and meat-bally without much sauce, cameth forth and spake unto me, “Behold pasta-eating sinner, praiseth about my Noodliness in thou unholy simply ridiculous blog and thou shalt be forgiven and thou shalt rejoice in pasta-spaghetti heaven for all eternity.”\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"050823jthom_first_vision_meatballs\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"050823jthom_first_vision_meatballs\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Skiti_RrcSI/AAAAAAAAFMI/XIAEUkWIQvY/050823jthom_first_vision_meatballs_t.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"339\" height\u003d\"396\" /\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSo, I set upon the divine task  of unearthing the secrets of the Flying Spaghetti Monster…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIn the beginning the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was hovering over the waters. And The Flying Spaghetti Monster said, \"Let there be light,\" and there was light. Then The Flying Spaghetti Monster said, \"Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.\" So, The Flying Spaghetti Monster created man in his own image, in the image of The Flying Spaghetti Monster he created him; angel-hair and macaroni he created them. The Flying Spaghetti Monster blessed them and said to them, \"Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and satiate it. Satiate the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every living creature that moves on the ground.\" Then The Flying Spaghetti Monster said, \"I give you every spice on the face of the whole earth and every grocery store that has Spaghetti Sauce with oregano and garlic in it . They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give you for food to them.\" And so it was. The Flying Spaghetti Monster saw all that he had made, and it was very good.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.venganza.org/\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eChurch of the Flying Spaghetti Monster\u003c/a\u003e (FSM), today's fastest growing carbohydrate and protein-based religion. Incredibly, this ancient religion was not well-known until its rediscovery in 2005 by graduate student Bobby Henderson in his \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eopen letter to the Kansas School Board\u003c/a\u003e. According to Bobby Henderson, the universe and all life within it were created by a mystical and divine being: His Noodliness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SkitjPWfhNI/AAAAAAAAFMM/8Cz9MaZwRuM/s1600-h/1220412495203.png.%5Broflposters.com%5D.myspace%5B7%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"1220412495203.png.[roflposters.com].myspace\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"1220412495203.png.[roflposters.com].myspace\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SkitjpoUAxI/AAAAAAAAFMQ/H5VvYuYqHaE/1220412495203.png.%5Broflposters.com%5D.myspace_thumb%5B5%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"419\" height\u003d\"339\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e He is also responsible for \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.blogger.com/Intelligent%20Design%20For%20Dummies%20%E2%80%93%20Part%202.%20Intelligent%20Falling\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eIntelligent Falling\u003c/a\u003e, by pushing objects back to the ground with the glorious multiplicity of his noodles. There could be many reasons why He would do this. It could be that He doesn’t want us floating off earth into space, or maybe just that He enjoys touching us – we may never know.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAll evidence for \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-evolution-and-natural-selection.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eevolution\u003c/a\u003e was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM tests Pastafarians’ faith by making things look older than they are. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhat’s so special about the FSM?? \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAccording to the Pastafarian belief system, pirates are \"absolute divine beings\" and the original Pastafarians. Their image as \"thieves and outcasts\" is misinformation spread by Christians in the Middle Ages. Pastafarianism says that they were in fact \"peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will\" who distributed candy to small children. They believe that \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/saving-environment-crazy-ideas.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eglobal warming\u003c/a\u003e, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s. And this is probably the reason why ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day’, September 19th is the most blessed of all days, equivalent to Christians' \"Christmas\". This is the day where the Flying Spaghetti Monster blesses all Pastafarians because they talk like pirates.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eOne of the major perks of being a Pastafarian is that they go to a heaven that is way cooler than ours!! It has a Stripper factory and a Beer Volcano!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eUnlike the Christian God, the Flying Spaghetti Monster was honest with His subjects and admitted to taking 3 days of rest after popping out the universe in just 4 days. As such, His Noodliness deemed that Friday, Saturday AND Sunday be days of rest, with special emphasis on Friday, in which one should drink much wine and engage in delights of the flesh.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eLet us all be aware of the fact that the “The Great Permissive Dude in the Sky Who Lets Us Do Whatever We Want” or the “Invisible Old Man In The Sky With A Large White Beard” or “The Great Sky Daddy” are all in fact different names for the Flying Spaghetti Monster.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"LastSupper2\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"LastSupper2\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SkitkMRjh5I/AAAAAAAAFMU/RIBs7shE-zo/LastSupper2_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"427\" height\u003d\"268\" /\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eLet us all pray to the holy FSM…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eOur pasta, who art in a colander,     \u003cbr /\u003eDraining be your noodles.      \u003cbr /\u003eThy noodle come,      \u003cbr /\u003eThy sauce be yum,      \u003cbr /\u003eOn top some grated parmesan.      \u003cbr /\u003eGive us this day our garlic bread,      \u003cbr /\u003eAnd forgive us our trespasses,      \u003cbr /\u003eAs we forgive those who trample on our lawns.      \u003cbr /\u003eAnd lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some pizza,      \u003cbr /\u003eFor thine is the meatball, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever.      \u003cbr /\u003e-Ramen.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e(The official ending for prayers to the FSM is “Ramen,” not “Amen.”)\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eMmmm!! I am already hungry! I am off to have some spaghetti!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/flying-spaghetti-monster.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eTouched By His Noodly Appendage!!\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-4465548229165435760?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/4465548229165435760/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/flying-spaghetti-monster.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4465548229165435760"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4465548229165435760"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/flying-spaghetti-monster.html","title":"Touched By His Noodly Appendage!!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-3237096425889607315"},"published":{"$t":"2009-06-10T07:11:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-06-10T07:14:09.711-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Intelligent design"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Hollow earth"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Holes In The Poles"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHello... llo... llo... o... o... o. Whoa, there's an echo in here!!\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eStupid old scientists thought that the earth was a \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-3.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003esolid sphere\u003c/a\u003e! Fools! How can something that has been going round and round for billions of years be solid?? Haven’t you ever seen a washing machine where all the clothes get thrown towards the periphery leaving an empty ‘hollow’ in between!! In the same way, there is large hollow at the center of the earth since everything was thrown outwards by billions of years of spinning.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSo, great scientist John Cleves Symmes, Jr. stepped in. He actually ‘proved’ that the earth is hollow, with the crust of the earth being 800 miles thick. There exists two openings at the North and South Pole, each hole having a circumference of 1400 miles wide. The diameter of the lip at the opening at the poles is 1200 miles long, thus a person can not see the other side of the opening. At the center of the earth is not a molten core but an inner sun which is six hundred miles wide and is 2900 miles from the Inner Surfaces. Also, the sun at the center of the hollow is half dark and half bright. So the portion of the hollow facing the dark side has night and the portion facing the bright side has daytime. \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHere’s a satellite photo showing the hole in the pole…\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Si--7nzhhJI/AAAAAAAAFJY/bel9RoQM3ac/s1600-h/hole25.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"hole2\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"hole2\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Si--808J3vI/AAAAAAAAFJc/J39v89M8Wu4/hole2_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"372\" height\u003d\"332\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u0026#160;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Hollow Earth\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Hollow Earth\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Si---sw1fgI/AAAAAAAAFJk/eqaeEIufiC4/HollowEarth_thumb4.gif?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"381\" height\u003d\"383\" /\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe Hollow Earth theory was also proven by Antarctic explorer Roald Amundsen, when his expedition fell into a hole at the South Pole, sending them all through to the inner surface of the Earth. There, he discovered a strange, eerie world in which lived people much like us, but with constantly popping ears!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHis first words on discovering the new inner world were, “Ewwww!! It smells like fart!!”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSure it’s going to smell like fart. How else would you expect it to smell with all those people farting in a closed hollow chamber!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAs a hollow body, the earth is in need of a natural system of ventilation, and as you can see here, the southern opening functions very nicely, spewing up all that fart into the atmosphere, where it somehow ignites and gives rise to the ‘Aurora Borealis’. \u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Si--_6T1CmI/AAAAAAAAFJo/tXl6PpBZ2Zw/s1600-h/aurora6.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"aurora\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"aurora\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Si-_BKjt-uI/AAAAAAAAFJs/nGKwNfTfHD0/aurora_thumb4.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"358\" height\u003d\"346\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut, who the hell lives in this ‘hollow’ inside the earth??\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHitler and his Nazis, ofcourse!! \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHitler escaped World War II in submarines into the hole in the Arctic. Over the years, they perfected their rocket technology into UFOs and used Adolph Hitler's DNA to clone a master race. So the UFOs that keep appearing on Earth come from Hollow Earth and conduct unethical experiments on Humans are some form of Nazi Science Experiment!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe polar openings and the inner world have been one of the best kept secrets in the world. Key in coordinates 90 0.0 N 0 0.0 W\u0026#160; in Google Earth and it will take you to the satellite images of the “north pole”.\u0026#160; You can clearly see where they’ve “stretched” the satellite photos from the area around the pole to disguise the opening.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWho do they think they are fooling?!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe important thing is that the earth is \u003ci\u003ehollow\u003c/i\u003e. And you gotta love that hollow!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/hollow-earth-theory.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eHoles In The Poles\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-3237096425889607315?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/3237096425889607315/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/hollow-earth-theory.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3237096425889607315"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3237096425889607315"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/hollow-earth-theory.html","title":"Holes In The Poles"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-6035770253804657545"},"published":{"$t":"2009-06-01T21:04:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-06-01T21:06:58.769-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Copernicus"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Intelligent design"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Heliocentricity"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Geocentricity"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 4. Geocentricity"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eGeocentricity is the time-tested theory, formulated by renowned scientists like Aristotle, Ptolemy and, ofcourse, The Holy Bible, that all objects in the Universe revolve around a central point at the Earth's core. The diagram below explains the order of all celestial bodies. Earth, the largest object in the universe is perfectly stationary, while the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Sun and Mars each rotate on their own respective axes as they revolve around the earth. \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SiSkEs-mBnI/AAAAAAAAFJE/CZbVDgya9wI/s1600-h/Geocentricity2.gif\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Geocentricity\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Geocentricity\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SiSkj3yGiLI/AAAAAAAAFJI/5CHbfn1iqYc/Geocentricity_thumb1.gif?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"274\" height\u003d\"302\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe scientific notion that the Earth is motionless, and that the sun orbits around the Earth, stood unchallenged since prehistoric times. Until a Polish douchebag, named Nicolaus Copernicus, got so stoned that everything started to go round and round.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“Whoaaaaaa!! The earth is spinnin’ and spinnin’ and….”, exulted a completely stoned Copernicus.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SiSkvdMB3gI/AAAAAAAAFJM/pgzT_5LI4TI/s1600-h/ConfusedCopernicus6.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Confused Copernicus\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Confused Copernicus\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SiSkxtTZ8_I/AAAAAAAAFJQ/4_voiiWdSmA/ConfusedCopernicus_thumb4.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"309\" height\u003d\"363\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut the only thing that is true is \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.geocentricity.com/\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eGeocentricity\u003c/a\u003e.. Why??\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBecause, ofcourse, the Bible says so (and, ofcourse, Bible is the oldest physics textbook of the world)…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eGod created the stationary world on the 1st day and it was not until the 4th day that the sun and moon were created…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026quot;He stretcheth out the north over the empty place, and hangeth the earth upon nothing\u0026quot; (Job 26:7). \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026quot;The Lord (Jesus) reigneth, he is clothed with majesty; the Lord is clothed with strength, wherewith he hath girded himself: the world also is stablished (stabilized), that it cannot be moved\u0026quot; (Psalm 93:1). \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026quot;Fear before him, all the earth: the world also shall be stable, that it be not moved\u0026quot; (I Chronicles16:30)\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and hasteth to his place where he arose.” (Ecclesiastes 1:5)\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eModern scientists, however, prefer the absurd Copernican theory that the Earth rotates around the Sun (Heliocentricity). Though this theory is funny to think about, it has a lot of obvious flaws….\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e1) The planet Earth is supposed to be a large, spherical shaped ball of rock flying through space at hundreds of thousands of miles per hour. But how could the Earth continue to move at the same speed for as long a time as the \u0026quot;\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-3.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eround Earthers\u003c/a\u003e\u0026quot; say that it has existed for; namely, several billion years. If outer space were a vacuum, then there would be no problem. But space is not a vacuum, it is instead filled with ether (according to Biblical physics!!). The earth would have to have been pushing its way through the ether for all those billions of years. Shouldn't it have slowed somewhere along the line??\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e2) The earth is orbiting the sun at a radius of around five-hundred million kilometers. Were this the case, the Earth would be an accelerated object in circular motion around its sun. And the Earth accelerating in circular motion would behave no differently than would a car taking a corner: loose objects (humans and animals would act like loose change or a cup of coffee on the dashboard) would slide around, or be thrown off completely. There would be an apparent centrifugal force on everything. During the day, when things would be facing the sun and therefore on the inside of the \u0026quot;orbit\u0026quot;, buildings would be crushed and humans beings squashed like grasshoppers in a centrifuge. And at night, when everything would be at the outside, trees and buildings would be ripped from the ground and flung into outer space, and humans wouldn't stand a chance.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"rounwrld\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"rounwrld\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SiSk0UjYKZI/AAAAAAAAFJU/Ruu3XLqMuYY/rounwrld_thumb5.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"410\" height\u003d\"312\" /\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e3) The equatorial speed of the Earth is about 465 m/s; which is faster than the speed of sound (340 m/s). So someone standing east of you would never be able to hear you!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e4) A merry-go-round moves at about 10 mph and you get dizzy; the Earth supposedly moves at more than 1000 mph and you don't even notice this??\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e5) If the Earth were spinning, all the continents would move toward the equator.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e6) The Earth doesn't have centrifugal force. Gravity is the same all over the Earth because the Earth doesn’t move. If it did go around the sun, the centrifugal force would make objects weigh TWICE less on Equator than in E.g. Vancouver, Canada.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e7) On time-delayed pictures of stars, the Polaris star almost doesn’t move. The only way it can work is if both the Earth and Polaris don’t move. The Earth is therefore the centre of the universe and Polaris is its end. And everything except the Polaris goes around the earth.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e8) What about satellites? Satellites go around the Earth because the space around revolves, thus pulling the satellites along with it. You can even put coca cola can and make it a satellite!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e9) Earth is spinning around thousands of miles a second, so when we jump, even if it is for a half a second, shouldn't we land miles away? (though we would probably crash into a building or something.)\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eConfused??\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eMe too!! These days you just don’t know what to believe and what not to..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWe live in really confusing times. Things used to make perfect sense in the good old days when the earth was flat, the sun revolved around the earth and God spoke from the top of a mountain and death alone was certain. Then in the last couple of thousand years, we changed our tack. Suddenly, we were all sinful, flawed and fallen beings. A single male sacrifice on a cross solved that problem for a while, but then came Galileo, Copernicus, Newton and ... \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-evolution-and-natural-selection.html\"\u003eDarwin\u003c/a\u003e!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-4.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eIntelligent Design For Dummies – Part 4. Geocentricity\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-6035770253804657545?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/6035770253804657545/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-4.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/6035770253804657545"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/6035770253804657545"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/06/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-4.html","title":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 4. Geocentricity"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-4978523571337054868"},"published":{"$t":"2009-05-24T20:33:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-05-24T20:34:49.054-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Intelligent design"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Magellan"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Religion"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Flat earth"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 3. Flat Earth"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIf you think that Ferdinand Magellan proved that the world is a sphere, then you are just misguided.. The truth is… \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eFerdinand Magellan was a Portuguese Comedian who loved to get stoned. One day, he traveled west from Spain , and found elephants (African). Then he travelled east and found elephants (Asian). Since he was stoned like hell, he did not realize that these elephants are of different kinds and he thought that he was traveling to the same lands by going in opposite directions. This gave birth to the misconception that the earth is round!!\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/ShoRcDXaVlI/AAAAAAAAEyA/QalTnRJFA_A/s1600-h/flatearth6.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"flat earth\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"flat earth\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/ShoRdmpTb6I/AAAAAAAAEyE/Qq7bfbb7cws/flatearth_thumb4.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"379\" height\u003d\"323\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003eBut then how do we know that the earth flat??\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThat’s because the Bible says so. So it must be true.. The reference to the \u0026quot;four corners of the earth,\u0026quot; and the parable of Jesus being shown \u0026quot;all the kingdoms of the earth\u0026quot; from the top of a mountain are clearly impossible for a sphere, but reasonable for a flat surface. The Bible is actually the first physics textbook written by certain individuals that were (supposedly) selected by an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy to convey the (supposedly) word of God as literal and absolute fact.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eFor a case in point, here is an account of a hallucination that was suffered by the \u0026quot;person\u0026quot; that wrote the Book of Daniel. In this hallucination, it is clearly revealed that the earth is flat. Keep in mind, please, that every single word in the Bible is absolutely and literally true: \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026quot;The visions of my head as I lay in bed were these: I saw, and behold, a tree in the midst of the earth; and its height was great. The tree grew and became strong, and its top reached to heaven, and it was visible to the end of the whole earth.\u0026quot; (Daniel 4:10-11) \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIf in fact the Earth was round, as is claimed by the Scientific Servants of Satan, then it would not be possible for any tree to be simultaneously visible from anywhere on this planet. Only a flat Earth would allow this!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIs there a map of the flat earth?? Yup, here’s how the map looks like..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/ShoRh8XRCbI/AAAAAAAAEyI/q7a0UKoFe2A/s1600-h/Flat_earth16.png\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Flat_earth-1\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Flat_earth-1\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/ShoRlLZ9dzI/AAAAAAAAEyM/WpAfDG9tulc/Flat_earth1_thumb4.png?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"360\" height\u003d\"339\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e The white outline surrounding the earth is actually a vast ice wall, approximately 150 feet high, which keep the water from running off the edge of the flat earth!! \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThis is not some silly joke.. There is even an organization dedicated to supporting this theory..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe \u003ca href\u003d\"http://theflatearthsociety.org/\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eFlat Earth Society\u003c/a\u003e is a group of the world's most brilliant scientific minds who know for truth that the Earth is a flat and that the sun and the moon are the same size going in a circle above the Earth. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd how does this society justify this flat earth theory?? Here’s how..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eA ship on the horizon disappears hull first and mast last. Doesn’t this prove that the earth is spherical?? Not quite.. This happens because the Earth's gravity is bending the light rays from the hull into the ocean before they reach our eyes!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhen you look at pictures of the round Earth taken from space, you must remember that gravity bends light so straight objects appear curved and curved objects appear straight!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd what about airliners going around the earth? What about earth satellites? Truth is that they are merely traveling in loop orbits.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHow come the travel time by air from South America to New Zealand, via the polar route, is SHORTER than the travel time going North first and then South again?\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe airline pilots are guided by their GPS. Remember that satellites don't exist. The replacement data given from pseudolites deliberately distort all the paths to make it seem that the flights take different times. The curvature of these paths can add or subtract great distances without the overall turning being obvious to someone traveling it.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eNow, before you ask some stupid question like \u0026quot;what about the evidence the proves the earth to be round?\u0026quot;, all this \u0026quot;evidence\u0026quot; has been faked by NASA because they want more money for their exploits into space. Which actually is just more money to buy big and expensive ingredients to make food!! The Flat Earthers have named this NASA conspiracy the \u003cstrong\u003eThe Conclusive Categorical Conspiracy Compendium\u003c/strong\u003e!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eEven the selfish proponents of \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/02/saving-environment-crazy-ideas.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eGlobal warming\u003c/a\u003e want the earth to be globular because if you ain't got no globe, you ain't got global warming!! Some idiots have even gone to the extent of stating that the Earth was a flat disc at some point in the past. However, due to Global warming, the surface of the planet expanded and became convex to the point that it became a sphere!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003ePeople believe that God has the whole world in his hands. But if the world were round, it would roll out of God's hand and into damnation!! So the earth is obviously flat!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-3.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eIntelligent Design For Dummies – Part 3. Flat Earth\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-4978523571337054868?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/4978523571337054868/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-3.html#comment-form","title":"1 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4978523571337054868"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4978523571337054868"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-3.html","title":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 3. Flat Earth"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"1"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-4634143101006861594"},"published":{"$t":"2009-05-12T00:24:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-05-12T00:27:01.558-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Intelligent design"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Religion"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Newton"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Intelligent Falling"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 2. Intelligent Falling"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eOne fine day, while sitting in an apple orchard, Sir Isaac Newton decided to get stoned. To his dismay, he had run out of bongs. Being a great scientist, he thought of a solution.. An \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.makingbongs.com/apple_bong.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eApple Bong\u003c/a\u003e!!\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd this is how Newton discovered Apple Bongs!!\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut wait.. Where does Gravity figure in this incident??\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWhile Newton was working on his contraption, a villager, who owned the orchard, caught him and accused him of stealing apples. Being a smartass, Newton succeeded in confusing the villager with some nonsense about a mystical force called ‘gravity’ pulling the apples towards hell. \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SgkkGK-4gQI/AAAAAAAAEn8/zsHXqQ60iWY/s1600-h/newton_apples7.png\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"newton_apples\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"newton_apples\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SgkkHehtPII/AAAAAAAAEoA/mOTyleqrJr8/newton_apples_thumb5.png?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"459\" height\u003d\"325\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd this is how the theory of Gravity was discovered!!\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eGravity is just a stupid theory discovered by someone who was high. Even children can see how ridiculous it is to imagine that people in Australia are upside down with respect to us, as gravity theory would have it!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SgkkIYjtxSI/AAAAAAAAEoE/mNDCAW8GWEo/s1600-h/gravity6.gif\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"gravity\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"gravity\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SgkkJ5ntDFI/AAAAAAAAEoI/XIaI5C63EWE/gravity_thumb4.gif?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"326\" height\u003d\"394\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe only reason Gravity is being taught in schools is because the Communists wanted so.. The mere name “Universal Theory of Gravity” or “Theory of Universal Gravity” has a distinctly socialist ring to it. The core idea of “to each according to his weight, from each according to his mass” is communist. There is no reason that gravity should apply to the just and the unjust, the rich and the poor, humans and animals equally. It’s just\u0026#160; Communist crap!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe theory of gravity violates common sense in many ways. Adherents have a hard time explaining, for instance, why airplanes do not fall. Since anti-gravity is rejected by the scientific establishment, they resort to lots of hand-waving. The theory, if taken seriously, implies that the default position for all airplanes is on the ground. While this is obviously true for Concorde airplanes, it appears that the Boeing and Airbus airplanes have a superior theory that effectively harnesses forces that overcome so-called gravity.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe theory of gravity violates the third law of motion too. The third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So if gravity were true, then for every apple that fell, one should fly. For every plane that flew, one should have fallen…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut then there has to be some reason, some force that causes things to fall..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe answer is an intelligent force. This dependence on the intelligent force to keep people from flying into space and to travel towards the ground when leaving a higher plain is referred to as ‘\u003cstrong\u003eIntelligent Falling’\u003c/strong\u003e. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIntelligent Falling is an argument against the naturalistic theory of unguided falling or Gravity. IF argues that life and other aspects of the physical universe are too complex to be able to fall through natural processes alone. Thus, various features of the universe, and of living things, are best explained by a puller and not by undirected process.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIntelligent Falling has its roots in Christian science, the well-respected alternative theory of everything, which holds that God does everything everywhere at all times, except help us reproduce or have fun, which are of course Satan's responsibilities.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eFall theory, however, leaves the identity of the Intelligent Puller open. Some say that it could only be God. While others argue that if God were pushing and pulling everything in the universe, He wouldn’t have time for anything else. So, God has an army of Angels to take care of the Intelligent Falling process. (Angels are very tiny, and undetectable with any instrument we might devise. Space is filled with them. There's a quantum sea of angels everywhere in the universe, in every nook and cranny. )\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eNow it would be simple to explain why does a body fall..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAngels pass it from one to another like a fireman's bucket brigade. They do this in strict accordance to the \u0026quot;Angelic Operations Manual\u0026quot;, written by the hand of God, in which angelic procedures are carried out precisely so that everything that happens in the universe \u0026quot;goes by the book\u0026quot;. Therefore everything conforms to the equations found in physics books—equations that scientists imagined they discovered. Once in a while a directive comes down from on high that certain procedures are to be suspended or modified when a miracle is required, but mostly things run like clockwork.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SgkkMVs7lGI/AAAAAAAAEoM/y211mSyEyRA/s1600-h/gravitytheory6.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"gravity-theory\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"gravity-theory\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SgkkOH4j0LI/AAAAAAAAEoQ/8E5lcoD9lVg/gravitytheory_thumb4.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"513\" height\u003d\"384\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-2.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eIntelligent Design For Dummies – Part 2. Intelligent Falling\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-4634143101006861594?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/4634143101006861594/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-2.html#comment-form","title":"6 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4634143101006861594"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4634143101006861594"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-2.html","title":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 2. Intelligent Falling"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"6"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-1011649014104326238"},"published":{"$t":"2009-05-02T04:08:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-05-11T23:53:09.244-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Intelligent design"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Evolution"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Creationism"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Darwin"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Natural Selection"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 1. Creationism"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cblockquote\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160; \u003cfont size\u003d\"4\" face\u003d\"Script MT Bold\"\u003eIn the beginning, there was no life, and then; \u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/blockquote\u003e  \u003cblockquote\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\" face\u003d\"Script MT Bold\"\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160; POOF!\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/blockquote\u003e  \u003cblockquote\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\" face\u003d\"Script MT Bold\"\u003e\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160;\u0026#160; There it was.\u003c/font\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/blockquote\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eOops.. There was not a single poof. In fact, there were seven poofs spread over a period of seven days that created everything.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eCreationism states that in 4004 B.C., God poofed everything into existence in a week using the highly sophisticated software Create-Your-Own-Planet 4.0 (The earlier Beta version 3.0 had just resulted in a Big Bang!!). \u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAfter creating man, he then decided Adam needed a companion, not out of any need to reproduce or anything, but rather because he was lonely. So, he created a woman using Adam's rib, calling her Eve. (If God didn’t have reproduction in his mind, then why the hell did he create a woman??? Why couldn’t he create a drinking partner for Adam and call him something like Mike??? Didn’t he know that women are the cause of all disaster???)\u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Creationistevolution\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Creationistevolution\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SfwpcgLqEII/AAAAAAAAEkk/uSEtwZaEJwM/Creationistevolution_thumb1.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"223\" height\u003d\"150\" /\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSure enough, Eve got them kicked out of Eden. She listened to a snake she thought was talking, and took a bite out of an apple that God had forbidden them to touch. She, later, tried to defend herself by claiming to be high (the actual quote was \u0026quot;well you didn't say we couldn't smoke up, did you?\u0026quot;). Alas, the moment she offered the apple to Adam it was all over. When God, like an angry dad coming home from work, realized that they had disobeyed one of his direct orders, He had them court-marshaled and finally discharged from Eden down to Earth where they and their children would forever have to be punished for the sins that the first two people committed.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut where do the dinosaurs figure in the scheme of creation??? Ok let me get this clear too…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAfter poofing everything in seven days, God rested on the eight day. Actually he rested for a lot of days, because he was too tired from creating the universe. Then on the fifteenth or sixteenth day, God decided to test all the weed that he had created. Satisfied with the weed, He went to sleep again. Then He woke up on the 309th day and decide to create all the monsters that had appeared in his nightmares. And this is how God made Dinosaurs. (A bit far-fetched, I know! But this is what creationists want us to believe!!)\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut then where did all the Dinosaurs go???? The creationists have an answer for this too..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAfter recovering from the high, God realized his mistake. He went down and killed them all off. Then He took all the bones of dead dinosaurs and placed them inside stones. And this is how God made Fossils..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sfwpesa3RMI/AAAAAAAAEko/SaxtsVfbKWU/s1600-h/bizarrocreationism6.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"bizarro-creationism\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"bizarro-creationism\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SfwphLFLVrI/AAAAAAAAEks/my-HjvJH3BM/bizarrocreationism_thumb4.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"424\" height\u003d\"357\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut then doesn’t the radiometric dating technology prove that the earth is a billion years old???\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWell, the oldest tree on earth is only a few thousand years old. This hands down proves creationism, because there should be older trees if Evolution is true about the age of the Earth being billions of years old. As for those fossils which are supposedly millions of years old, the Evolutionists are wrong. Therefore it is a fact that 99% of scientists are wrong - Their radiometric dating methods are wrong and vastly inaccurate. Fact is that Man and Dinosaurs walked together before!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eLook around at the trees and other wonderful-looking organisms. How could living things of such great complexity come from? Even modern technology cannot recreate such wonderful diversity of life! The false theory Evolution states that everything evolved by random mutation over many millions of years, which is way too long for a six thousand and ten year-old universe and is obviously not true. Therefore, God exists and God made it all. Bible says it, you believe it, and that's that. No, an all-powerful God could not have made the world using evolution, it'd be so boring, he'd get tired of waiting! So, \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-evolution-and-natural-selection.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eevolution\u003c/a\u003e and natural selection are all just crap..\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003ePoor Mr. Charles \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-evolution-and-natural-selection.html\"\u003eDarwin\u003c/a\u003e did sound pretty convincing. But, wait a minute. Don’t you notice the similarity between him and the Lord himself.. This is because God came to earth in the form of Charles Darwin to put forward these silly crap theories, just to play with the minds of the poor humans.. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sfwpi3Dc4HI/AAAAAAAAEkw/aLy36GOYJnY/s1600-h/633764406010789195creationists8.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"633764406010789195-creationists\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"633764406010789195-creationists\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SfwplJhYxgI/AAAAAAAAEk0/DHp86EX-XJU/633764406010789195creationists_thumb.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"507\" height\u003d\"383\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eDid you really believe that we have descended from monkeys!! Monkeys are literally dirty stinking apes that throw feces at each other and have totally immoral sexual relations with their neighbor's wives that are an affront to traditional Christian values. The religion of evolution says that we have a common ancestor with these horrible smelly apes. That clearly isn't true - because we find the idea absolutely disgusting. If we find the idea disgusting, we cannot have come from monkeys, therefore evolution is wrong, therefore God created \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/03/advantage-homo-gluttirini.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eHomo Sapiens\u003c/a\u003e out of clay and fairy dust!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003ePretty convincing argument!! Ain’t it??\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eMay all the Evolutionists burn in Hell for eternity…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sfwpmo0bmSI/AAAAAAAAEk4/J1lH0bmd6oc/s1600-h/20060628christianunitycartoon8.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"2006-06-28-christian-unity-cartoon\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"2006-06-28-christian-unity-cartoon\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SfwppMY4ynI/AAAAAAAAEk8/Rps36llh-1A/20060628christianunitycartoon_thumb6.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"546\" height\u003d\"411\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u0026#160;\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-1.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eIntelligent Design For Dummies – Part 1. Creationism\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-1011649014104326238?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/1011649014104326238/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-1.html#comment-form","title":"18 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/1011649014104326238"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/1011649014104326238"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/05/intelligent-design-for-dummies-part-1.html","title":"Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 1. Creationism"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"18"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-3392970235071668889"},"published":{"$t":"2009-04-13T00:07:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-04-13T00:13:14.726-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Evolution"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Darwin"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Natural Selection"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Why Evolution And Natural Selection Don’t Make Sense.."},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIn 1823, an Aussie dude by the name of Charles Darwin decided (while he was in the bathroom smoking crack) that there must be a reason why he looked a bit like monkeys.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLkljhlqDI/AAAAAAAAEik/xuFp0Hvlys4/s1600-h/darwin-monkey-wallace-cjmadden%5B6%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"darwin-monkey-wallace-cjmadden\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"darwin-monkey-wallace-cjmadden\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLknPSttxI/AAAAAAAAEio/RG8j-I_E8a8/darwin-monkey-wallace-cjmadden_thumb%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"322\" height\u003d\"376\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIn 1825, Charles Darwin embarked on what is later viewed to be the single greatest voyage of mankind, far surpassing those of Columbus or Magellan. Traveling with his lone companion, a pet beagle, he went across the street to the park. While at the park, Darwin noticed a chimp. Intrigued by the creature, he tentatively put out his hand to shake the chimp's own. But to Darwin's astonishment, the chimp reacted angrily, flailing his arms and throwing feces at both he and the Beagle. Recognizing the stunning similarities in behavior between the chimp and himself, Darwin concluded that humans must have evolved from apes. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLkoPF8KQI/AAAAAAAAEis/zyz67qvQ05Q/s1600-h/EVidence%5B7%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"EVidence\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"EVidence\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLkpbvN86I/AAAAAAAAEiw/mKb2xVyZsO0/EVidence_thumb%5B5%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"410\" height\u003d\"295\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThen a few years later, a skull was found of a dude that looked, in technical terms, \u0026quot;really, really weird.\u0026quot; The guy (obviously a black dude) had such a weird skull that made the stupid scientists think he was the missing link between man and ape, according to Darwin's Theory of Evolution. Of course, none of this has been proven yet. Therefore, Mr. Homo Erectus himself (God bless his soul) was probably not stupid at all (at least we don't know that), but the men who found him and gave him that ultra-stupid name were definitely \u003ci\u003enot-so-smart\u003c/i\u003e.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIn this way, Darwin formulated the most controversial theory of all time, called the ‘The Theory Of Evolution and Natural Selection”. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAccording to this theory, give mother nature any lump of living cells, and an unlimited span of time, and she will develop those cells into an Einstein or a Newton!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThe concept of Natural Selection as a creative force assumes that if your mom breeds five kids, nature will kill the stupid ones, and only the smart, strong, and cute ones will survive. Which, ofcourse, never ever happens!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003ePoliticians, however, belie this fallacy every day. Everybody knows that only stupid and/or poor people breed. Smart people are too busy building wealth which they eventually hope will come in handy in putting the smack down on the hordes of breeders when the revolution comes.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIn fact, I’d like to go one step further and say that man is going to get dumber. How??\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eWell, the smart ones have high-pressure jobs, can’t maintain their marriages and don’t have children. The dumb ones have lots of children. Effectively, the average stupidity on the planet increases. This will continue to happen until the chimpanzees become more intelligent (thanks to animal rights groups, who will ensure that the monkeys survive) and recruit us to do their slave work. We’ll all end up as second-rate slaves doing what someone else tells us to do all day (and sometimes even on weekends).\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eNow that you know the facts, the ‘Planet of the Apes’ movie won’t suck anymore!! Because that is how the future will look like.. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLkqWGn3LI/AAAAAAAAEi0/Ef2AiZsBv4U/s1600-h/750px-Chimpanzoo%5B9%5D.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"750px-Chimpanzoo\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"750px-Chimpanzoo\" src\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLkrr3xYLI/AAAAAAAAEi4/tOCWB-F0ICg/750px-Chimpanzoo_thumb%5B7%5D.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"540\" height\u003d\"400\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut, surely, the theory of evolution holds true in some aspects of life… Yeah, it does to some extent!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eRemember those days as a child when the excuse \u0026quot;dog ate my homework\u0026quot; would get you in trouble. The teacher would get mad, embarrass you in front of the class by calling you lazy, a liar and a moron. Your parents would then \u0026quot;blow a fuse\u0026quot; subjecting you to some good-ole ass whooping and being grounded like \u0026quot;forever\u0026quot;. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eBut nowadays, since things have evolved, the teacher would get fired, the school would get sued, parents would get arrested for a physical and mental abuse, and the dog would be sent to a dog psychologist and some educational therapy pending a possible sterilization for hyperactivity.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLksqfHIbI/AAAAAAAAEi8/CZlpxjrjS0A/s1600-h/Evolution25.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Evolution2\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Evolution2\" src\u003d\"http://lh3.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/SeLkuEHc_AI/AAAAAAAAEjA/E3GJMIyNaXM/Evolution2_thumb3.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"382\" height\u003d\"304\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnother example of evolution is illustrated above. The Facebook and MySpace generation appears to be embarking on a disastrous evolutionary path which is turning many otherwise ordinary, normal people into hideous, antisocial faggots who live in a certain habitat known as the Internet. These horrifying creatures are considerably less developed than their human predecessors, and they are believed to be the first step towards the extinction of mankind.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-evolution-and-natural-selection.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eWhy Evolution And Natural Selection Don’t Make Sense\u003c/a\u003e..\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-3392970235071668889?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/3392970235071668889/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-evolution-and-natural-selection.html#comment-form","title":"7 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3392970235071668889"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/3392970235071668889"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/why-evolution-and-natural-selection.html","title":"Why Evolution And Natural Selection Don’t Make Sense.."}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"7"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4606073782188334855.post-4036796779154158416"},"published":{"$t":"2009-04-05T21:04:00.001-07:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2009-04-05T21:07:21.355-07:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"2012"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"End of the world"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Humor"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"2012 End Of The World And All The Other Crap"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eIt’s the year 1000 AD. A Mayan worker is meticulously chipping on the rock, carving what looks like a celestial calendar. Suddenly, he looks up and says “What the hell am I doing? I am already 1000 years into the future.” And so he stopped carving at 2012 AD.\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eOr maybe this is what happened…\u003c/p\u003e  \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sdl_RYpnPVI/AAAAAAAAEhc/YHChZV703mg/s1600-h/maya_cartoon11.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"maya_cartoon\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"maya_cartoon\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sdl_S7p47UI/AAAAAAAAEhg/pYSjy0EMJ18/maya_cartoon_thumb7.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"385\" height\u003d\"401\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e \u003cspan class\u003d\"fullpost\"\u003e   \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThen, one fine day, the guys at Discovery Channel, during one of their brain-storming sessions…\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“It’s always about animals. The people are just bored of all the animal sex and shit that we air.”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e“Hmmm.. Let’s invent a new doomsday situation. It worked last time with the Y2K!!”\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eAnd thus began the ‘Mayan Calendar Conundrum’…. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eThere have been countless theories about how the world is going to end in 2012. But here are some which I felt were simply ridiculous.. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e1) \u003cstrong\u003eThe End Of Sanity:\u003c/strong\u003e A large movement of the poles in a short period of time combined with a predicted record breaking solar storm that is supposedly going to happen in 2012 will cause peoples’ pineal gland in the brain to secrete dimethyltryptamine, which is a hallucinogen secreted only under certain circumstances such as at birth and near death. So if this were to happen on a massive scale people would basically be running around having visions of who the hell knows what. But this means that the world really isn't ending, we are all just going to go crazy!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e2) \u003cstrong\u003eTectonic Shift:\u003c/strong\u003e Somewhere around Dec. 21, 2012, there will be a great shift in the earth's polarity that will cause the earth's inner layers to rotate inside the earth's crust. It means that Alaska will lie at the equator and all those folks who left colder climates for Florida will wake up with penguins in their palm trees. What's worse, the Cowboys could find their new stadium in Pittsburgh. (At great risk of pointing out the obvious, the polarity shift will be caused by the alignment of the earth and sun with a black hole that lies at the center of our Milky Way galaxy). To be sure, this rotation will mark the end of civilization, as we know it. The complete shift of continents, oceans and Starbucks stores will bring an end to food production, medicines and Internet porn!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e3) \u003cstrong\u003eFailing Transformers:\u003c/strong\u003e Apparently from time to time, giant plasma fireballs known as coronal mass ejections escape the sun’s surface on a solar wind.\u0026#160; If one of those ejections should hit the Earth’s magnetic shield, it would cause rapid short-lived changes in the configuration of the Earth’s magnetic field which would induce DC currents in the long wires of modern power grids.\u0026#160; This increased DC current in turn would induce strong magnetic fields that would saturate a transformer’s magnetic core, which would result in a runaway current that would cause the transformer’s wiring to heat up and actually melt. The problem is that the transformers could not be repaired, but would actually need to be replaced.\u0026#160; A transformer replacement normally takes a well-trained crew with a spare transformer around a week.\u0026#160; Imagine now that all of the transformers in New England, the Midwest, the Federal Corridor, and the Pacific Northwest failed at once.\u0026#160; It could take years (estimated 10 years) to get the electricity grid up and running if these areas went down.\u0026#160; Since our entire water, sewage, healthcare, and product delivery infrastructure relies on electricity, this would be catastrophic!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e4) \u003cstrong\u003eRise Of The Anti-Christ:\u003c/strong\u003e Now, a clever theory from the followers of Nostradamus. Take the last two letters from \u0026quot;Obama\u0026quot; and the first three of \u0026quot;Bush\u0026quot; and you get \u0026quot;Mabus\u0026quot;. \u0026quot;Mabus\u0026quot; is the name of the guy who, according to Nostradamus, would be the third Antichrist (after Pau Nay Oloron who was Napoleon, and Hister who was Hitler). Now, I don't understand why Obama has to be the Antichrist! Why it can't be George Bush? Or, for that matter, Osama bin Laden... You'll get also a \u0026quot;Mabus\u0026quot; if you combine the names \u0026quot;Osama\u0026quot; and \u0026quot;Bush\u0026quot;! Okay, Osama or George Bush are not living in Chicago and Barack Obama is! And what is the zip code of Chicago? 60606! Eliminate the zero's and you get 666, the Number of the Beast! It's that simple, really. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh6.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sdl_UfY3KiI/AAAAAAAAEhk/rt6LXKHsPTs/s1600-h/Bush_Antichrist8.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"Bush_Antichrist\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"Bush_Antichrist\" src\u003d\"http://lh4.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sdl_VptcakI/AAAAAAAAEho/fMJI-_no5nE/Bush_Antichrist_thumb6.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"401\" height\u003d\"318\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e5) \u003cstrong\u003eTime Wave Zero: \u003c/strong\u003eSome blokes believe that time can be graphed, and changes in history are based in the increase and decrease of novelty. According to this theory, on 21st December 2012, the graph arrives to zero. We reach what is called the concrescence, a point called the \u0026quot;end of history\u0026quot;. In this time humans would evolve into hyperspace, or that there will be a big change. We would be no longer under physical laws. Many of us will be able to step out of time, time travel, teleport, lift objects with our mind, maybe fly, heal instantly, have super health, have expanded knowledge and wisdom, super intelligence, start fires with our own energy, and so many other abilities! Wow, that would make us a planet of supermans!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e6) \u003cstrong\u003eCosmic Reconnection: \u003c/strong\u003eDecember 21st 2012 will be the day on which this inner cosmos is reconnected to the divine outer cosmos. The Sun will mount its unique position to\u0026#160; form a `gateway' between the Universe and the souls of every living creature on Earth. Our linear conception of time will crumble, and with it, fear and hatred will vanish. It will be purification at it's very best, when everyone is soaked in cosmic understanding and divine love. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eSo there it is: on December 20th, you'll kick your dog, yell at your spouse and cheat on cards. But a day later, you'll be calmed down into a peaceful dude with nothing but love and understanding to guide you in life. Even though it's mid-winter, it'll be summer of love for all humanity!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e7) \u003cstrong\u003eLarge Hadron Collider: \u003c/strong\u003eIt was switched on. The Earth didn't move, or even twitch. And it certainly didn’t end. But then it did stop working before it could do anything. \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eMaybe the world will come to an end when it is started the next time. Maybe in 2012.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sdl_XQbuonI/AAAAAAAAEhs/UITQIt5c6qw/s1600-h/largehadroncollider7.jpg\"\u003e\u003cimg style\u003d\"border-right-width: 0px; display: block; float: none; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left-width: 0px; margin-right: auto\" title\u003d\"largehadroncollider\" border\u003d\"0\" alt\u003d\"largehadroncollider\" src\u003d\"http://lh5.ggpht.com/_APjgPmP_12w/Sdl_Yt_BPeI/AAAAAAAAEhw/qHi1bpdeERw/largehadroncollider_thumb5.jpg?imgmax\u003d800\" width\u003d\"452\" height\u003d\"346\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e8) \u003cstrong\u003ePlanet X: \u003c/strong\u003eAccording to the Sumerians, when the world is on the brink of a disaster on 21st December 2012, the Planet Nibiru (popularly known as Planet X) will come close to earth and it’s inhabitants called the “Annunaki” will descend on earth and save us just like \u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2008/12/failed-superheroes.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eSuperman\u003c/a\u003e at the last moment!! Good story for the next Steven Spielberg movie!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e9) \u003cstrong\u003eCrazy Theory: \u003c/strong\u003eMaybe zombie Archduke Ferdinand could rise from the grave along with the cast members of the original Poltergeist that died weirdly to build a landing pad for aliens, who will instantly transform all Catholics into glowing cans of Campbell's Cream of Wheat soup with psychic powers and the ability to levitate for up to three minutes at a time, a feat which causes all universal constants to fluctuate and time to reverse, whereupon the re-resurrected Jesus will spontaneously combust causing the Earth's magnetic poles to flip and a Uwe Boll movie to not suck woolly mammoth turds, an event that defies the will of Shiva the Destroyer, who shall respond by dousing the world in lighter fluid and sparking a galactic fireball the likes of which hasn't been witnessed since Mohammed farted and the big bang killed the dinosaurs!! \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e10) \u003cstrong\u003eMy Theory:\u003c/strong\u003e Year 2012 A.D. An asteroid hits earth, raising billions of tons of dust into the upper atmosphere blocking out the sun for about 7 years pushing the earth into a long, cold winter. Without the sunlight, all the plants die and the world faces a brutal famine. All the lean and muscular people (\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/03/advantage-homo-gluttirini.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eHomo Sapiens\u003c/a\u003e) die from starvation. Only the humans with large flabs of fat survive. Thus will emerge a totally new species of humans called the “\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/03/advantage-homo-gluttirini.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003eHomo Gluttirini\u003c/a\u003e”.\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eI have just one question for all the doom-mongers… \u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003eHow could the world end when we have Bruce Willis and Steven Seagal and \u003cem\u003eArnold\u003c/em\u003e Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone to save our asses!!\u003c/p\u003e    \u003cp align\u003d\"justify\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/2012-end-of-world-and-all-other-crap.html\" target\u003d\"_blank\"\u003e2012 End Of The World And All The Other Crap\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/span\u003e  \u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/4606073782188334855-4036796779154158416?l\u003djigarbpatel.blogspot.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/feeds/4036796779154158416/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/2012-end-of-world-and-all-other-crap.html#comment-form","title":"10 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4036796779154158416"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/4606073782188334855/posts/default/4036796779154158416"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://jigarbpatel.blogspot.com/2009/04/2012-end-of-world-and-all-other-crap.html","title":"2012 End Of The World And All The Other Crap"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Dr. Jigar Patel"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/16245158813050097378"},"email":{"$t":"Jigar.PatelB@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"08102376047774440940"}}],"thr$total":{"xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","$t":"10"}}]}});