Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 3. Flat Earth

If you think that Ferdinand Magellan proved that the world is a sphere, then you are just misguided.. The truth is…

Ferdinand Magellan was a Portuguese Comedian who loved to get stoned. One day, he traveled west from Spain , and found elephants (African). Then he travelled east and found elephants (Asian). Since he was stoned like hell, he did not realize that these elephants are of different kinds and he thought that he was traveling to the same lands by going in opposite directions. This gave birth to the misconception that the earth is round!!

But then how do we know that the earth flat??

That’s because the Bible says so. So it must be true.. The reference to the "four corners of the earth," and the parable of Jesus being shown "all the kingdoms of the earth" from the top of a mountain are clearly impossible for a sphere, but reasonable for a flat surface. The Bible is actually the first physics textbook written by certain individuals that were (supposedly) selected by an Imaginary Bearded Sky Daddy to convey the (supposedly) word of God as literal and absolute fact.

For a case in point, here is an account of a hallucination that was suffered by the "person" that wrote the Book of Daniel. In this hallucination, it is clearly revealed that the earth is flat. Keep in mind, please, that every single word in the Bible is absolutely and literally true:

"The visions of my head as I lay in bed were these: I saw, and behold, a tree in the midst of the earth; and its height was great. The tree grew and became strong, and its top reached to heaven, and it was visible to the end of the whole earth." (Daniel 4:10-11)

If in fact the Earth was round, as is claimed by the Scientific Servants of Satan, then it would not be possible for any tree to be simultaneously visible from anywhere on this planet. Only a flat Earth would allow this!!

Is there a map of the flat earth?? Yup, here’s how the map looks like..

The white outline surrounding the earth is actually a vast ice wall, approximately 150 feet high, which keep the water from running off the edge of the flat earth!!

This is not some silly joke.. There is even an organization dedicated to supporting this theory..

The Flat Earth Society is a group of the world's most brilliant scientific minds who know for truth that the Earth is a flat and that the sun and the moon are the same size going in a circle above the Earth.

And how does this society justify this flat earth theory?? Here’s how..

A ship on the horizon disappears hull first and mast last. Doesn’t this prove that the earth is spherical?? Not quite.. This happens because the Earth's gravity is bending the light rays from the hull into the ocean before they reach our eyes!!

When you look at pictures of the round Earth taken from space, you must remember that gravity bends light so straight objects appear curved and curved objects appear straight!!

And what about airliners going around the earth? What about earth satellites? Truth is that they are merely traveling in loop orbits.

How come the travel time by air from South America to New Zealand, via the polar route, is SHORTER than the travel time going North first and then South again?

The airline pilots are guided by their GPS. Remember that satellites don't exist. The replacement data given from pseudolites deliberately distort all the paths to make it seem that the flights take different times. The curvature of these paths can add or subtract great distances without the overall turning being obvious to someone traveling it.

Now, before you ask some stupid question like "what about the evidence the proves the earth to be round?", all this "evidence" has been faked by NASA because they want more money for their exploits into space. Which actually is just more money to buy big and expensive ingredients to make food!! The Flat Earthers have named this NASA conspiracy the The Conclusive Categorical Conspiracy Compendium!!

Even the selfish proponents of Global warming want the earth to be globular because if you ain't got no globe, you ain't got global warming!! Some idiots have even gone to the extent of stating that the Earth was a flat disc at some point in the past. However, due to Global warming, the surface of the planet expanded and became convex to the point that it became a sphere!!

People believe that God has the whole world in his hands. But if the world were round, it would roll out of God's hand and into damnation!! So the earth is obviously flat!!

Intelligent Design For Dummies – Part 3. Flat Earth